When designing jewelry, the sky is the limit as far as color choices, stones, shapes and over-all design. But just like a cherry on a sundae or the star on the top of a Christmas tree, no outfit is complete without jewelry.

I would start with making a choice on your bridesmaids dresses. Take your Maid of Honor with you to help you make a decision because usually there are more choices of bridesmaid dresses than there are Wedding gowns in the boutiques. This will help you get some feedback as far as what will work for all of the girls and she can also try some of them on, since they normally look very different on a person than they do on the rack.

Once you have made a decision, make sure that you get a swatch of the fabric so that you have a true reference to the color of the gowns. I would not recommend trying to match the tones in the jewelry by memory, especially if you’d like to go with a similar color scheme. This simple, and not to mention free, tip will make life much easier in the long run.

The next thing you will need to consider is what sort of stones you’d like your girls to wear on the big day. There are quite a lot of choices when it comes to this subject, you can go with semi-precious stones, crystals, pearls or even just a simple pendant on a satin cord. The best place to start is with style of the dresses, taking into consideration the color and the cut of the dress itself.

Then you can decide if you’d like to go with one type and shape of stone for example, crystals or pearls, you can have a single strand or you can also go with a layered look of two or three stands of the same stone. I personally find this very effective and it’s also nice because if you go with a necklace and bracelet that are of a simpler design, your girls will get much more use out of them in the future.

If you are having trouble finding something that will compliment your dresses closely, don’t worry, I find that if you go with a mono-chromatic scheme and put several shades together that are in the same family it will give you a little more interest in the jewelry and you don’t have to be so concerned with having a perfect match. You can view a sampling of Swarovski Crystal colors using this Swarovski Crystal color chart. Also, don’t be afraid to consider other color options when working with hues in this manner. For example, you may find that with a pale green dress, shades of citrine or yellow topaz will look very nice, or even shades of blue. It all depends on the undertones in the fabric.

The last thing to consider is the shapes of the stones that you wish to use. You could go with a single size, like tiny pearls on layered strings for a very feminine and classic look. Or you may want to go with several shapes and sizes that when put together, will make a pattern and create some interest like the Swarovski Crystal Round and Bicone necklace (see link below), this can be very dramatic or just slight variations in the shapes.

If you just can’t find that perfect piece to compliment your wedding day, for you, your bridesmaids or even the mothers of the bride and groom, visit Brilliant-Wedding-Jewelry.com. We can custom make just about anything. You imagine it and we will make it a reality.

Swarovski Crystal Round and Bicone Necklace
Penny Olson is the owner and designer for Brilliant-Wedding-Jewelry.com.

The bride glides down the aisle, her white dress gleaming in the muted candle light. The groom and his attendants add contrast with traditional black tuxedos. Bride’s maids and maid-of-honor stand in ballet-length dresses of soft blue. The ring bearer and flower girl giggle as they wiggle beside the adults.

The preceding paragraph contains details full of imagery. Any reader can “see” the bride’s trek down the aisle. However, are the details given the ones readers want? The words add nothing but unneeded padding to a newspaper account. For a story, the information may add needed atmosphere, yet it could be a distraction that stops the flow of the story. The details given wouldn’t help prepare for the wedding. Let’s examine, according to the purpose, what details are needed about a wedding.

First of all newspaper articles need the facts, only the facts, as Sergeant Joe Friday stated in the Dragnet series. The facts concerning a wedding include several things: the names of the bride and groom, names of their parents, their home towns, names of attendants, brief description of gowns, and a few other personal details such as where the couple work or attend college. Imagery, such as would be found in poetry, is avoided.

In a journal or diary entry, any kind of detail wanted can be used lavishly. Imagery, atmosphere, thoughts, feelings, or moods are vital additions to such writings. The writer can pour any and all impressions as well as physical details into words to be recorded.

Stories of other types need only the amount of detail to give readers a mental picture required for the purpose of the plot. A writer should avoid information which would derail the flow of the story. If the reader would skip the exposition, then the details are not needed and are wasted effort. The word-painting of a wedding should be as long as necessary and include enough detail to make the reader “see” the event to the extent required for the story to be complete.

Details should be exact and listed for preparation for the wedding itself. Someone, usually the wedding planner (whether a paid professional, a friend of the bride, or even the bride herself), keeps track of what needs to be done and has been completed. The wedding planner may have one list while the bride has another, a personal one. Keeping track of details before the wedding makes the event smoother.

Therefore specific details have their place, planning for a wedding rather than writing about it. The purpose is what determines the extent of the information used. A “detailed” wedding plan results in a flawless, or nearly flawless, wedding. A too-detailed news release could mean an article not printed. Too much detail can halt the flow of a story.

A retired teacher, Vivian Gilbert Zabel has a portfolio on http://www.writing.com, and she has two books, Hidden Lies and Other Stories and Walking the Earth: Life’s Perspectives in Poetry on Amazon.com. This article has been submitted in affiliation with http://www.Prye.Com/ which is a site for Wedding Invitations.

When was the last time you played with your spouse? I mean
really played with him or her with laughter and teasing. Life
and love does not have to be serious all of the time. If it is,
you will have a dull life and a joyless marriage. You may not
think about yourself as playful, but it’s time that you did.
Play with your wife. Play with your husband. Make jokes about
yourself and each other (silly jokes, not hurtful ones). Play
water tag with the sprayer at the kitchen sink.

Take a piece of masking tape and write a silly word like “dork”
on it. Sneak up behind your spouse, slap the tape on his or her
arm and say, “Tag! You’re it!” There’s nothing wrong with having
some childish fun with your spouse. The best part might just be
the look on your spouse’s face when you unexpectedly make the
first move!

Make your romantic life with your spouse a weekly game. Do you
remember the old board game spinning wheels? If you can find
one, remove the spinner from a board game you no longer use.
Cover the original instructions on the wheel with paper and
separate it equally into twelve sections. Fill in the sections
with a romantic activity and you and your spouse can take turns
spinning the wheel each day or once a week.

Most communities hold a variety of carnivals and festivals
throughout the year. Even those who live in climates that change
drastically from warm summers to cold and snowy winters continue
to have summer, harvest, winter and spring festivals. Take your
spouse to any or all of them! Make sure you eat some of the food
there, play some games, try and win a prize, ride the rides if
there are any and buy your love a trinket to remember the day by.

Take a day to spend at the mall, but you won’t be spending the
entire day with each other. You and your spouse each get a
specific amount of money (about ten dollars- no more than
twenty) to spend while you’re there. You both agree to shop for
a certain amount of time and return to the same place you
started. Here’s where it becomes romantic- you are only allowed
to buy trinkets for each other while you shop.

Some couples make up their own shopping theme and they can only
buy items that fit that theme. For example, if you are close to
a holiday like Christmas, only shop for Christmas related items.
Maybe you both need a good laugh and you can only shop for gag
gifts. Use your creative side to make a day out ‘together’ fun!

If you really want to have fun, you can enjoy dressing up for
each other. Not the way you dress up to go out to dinner, but
the way you used to dress up to go out on Halloween! Visit a
local costume shop and rent what you both have chose for the
other. Make a night of it- at home!

(This is part 2 of a 5-part series on making marriage work)

Are you in a long-term relationship where you are either fighting a lot of the time or feeling distant, disconnected, and without passion? Or, do you find yourselves going along fine until a conflict arises, and then you can’t seem to find way to resolve it? Do you either try to win by getting angry and defensive, or give in to avoid the other’s anger and defensiveness? Do you find yourself shut down, numbed out, or resistant much of the time? Do you and your partner love each other, but resentment is building because of all the unresolved conflicts and communication problems?

Relationship issues occur when the dual fears of loss of another’s love (rejection) and loss of self (engulfment) have been triggered. Each of us has learned protective ways of trying to have control over getting the love we need and avoiding the pain we believe we can’t handle. As soon as one of these fears is triggered, we automatically go into our learned ways of protecting against pain and trying to control the other person into being the way we want them to be. When we get angry, give in, withdraw or resist, this protective, controlling behavior often activates our partner’s protective controlling behavior. The interactions that follow may be filled with anger, blame, judgment, defensiveness, explaining, denying, withdrawal and resistance. Love does not flourish in the face of these difficult interactions.

In this series, I will show you how the 6-Step process of Inner Bonding can be used to completely change your relationship.

A simplified version of The Six Steps are:

1. Willingness
2. Choose the intent to learn
3. Dialogue with the feelings
4. Dialogue with your Higher Power
5. Take loving action
6. Evaluate the action.

We will start with Step One of Inner Bonding: WILLINGNESS. In Step One, you choose to be willing to feel your feelings and take responsibility for them, rather than turn to protective, controlling, addictive behavior.

You cannot change your automatic reactive behaviors until you become aware of the feelings of fear that trigger them.

What do you feel in your body when someone gets angry, blaming, or judgmental toward you?

What do you feel in your body when someone shuts down, withdraws, or becomes resistant toward you?

Take a moment to tune into your body and see what it feels like when your fears of rejection or engulfment become triggered. What happens in your stomach, your throat, your heart, your arms and legs? Does your body fill with adrenaline and go into the fight or flight reaction - the stress response?

You cannot begin to react differently when your fears of rejection or engulfment are triggered until you know that fear is being activated. You will unconsciously continue to respond with your learned protections until you become conscious of what you are protecting against.

We have all learned many ways of avoiding feeling and being conscious of our feelings. All addictive behavior - substance abuse, process addictions, reactive behavior toward others, and judgmental thoughts toward ourselves - are ways of avoiding feeling the deep loneliness, as well as helplessness over the other person’s behavior and feelings, that is at the core of all addictive behaviors. When your partner behaves in some rejecting or controlling way toward you, this deep loneliness and helplessness is activated. But these are such difficult feelings to feel that most of us will turn to our learned addictive behaviors to avoid them. We will either try to have control over the other person by getting angry, judgmental or giving in, or we will try to control the pain of the loneliness with substance and process addictions.

The only way out of this is to be willing to feel the very challenging feelings of loneliness and helplessness over others and learn to manage these feelings rather than avoid them. If you were to learn to accept and manage these feelings rather than turn to your learned protective controlling behaviors, you would begin to change the dysfunctional relationship system that may be eroding your marriage.

The Six-Step Inner Bonding process is a process for moving out of your automatic reactive behavior and into kindness and compassion toward yourself and your partner. The remaining articles in this series will show you how to do this.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” and “Healing Your Aloneness.” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com Phone sessions available.